Disclaimer: This is how the Internet was born, not the universe, someone could be a Skeleton and a Muslim, Atheist and Skeleton, etc. Edit Edit
GON Edit Edit
Kiindah Edit Edit
1:1 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton flew across the formless void that was the Internet.
1:2 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton looked down, and said, "Let there be a homepage." And so the first homepage was born, and The Great Skeleton saw that it was useful.
1:3 Edit Edit
The first homepage was blank and simple, so The Great Skeleton said, "Let there be links!" The Great Skeleton saw that it was useful, and the First Session ended.
Himdah do Rediirah Edit Edit
2:1 Edit Edit
On the Second Session, The Great Skeleton attempted to click the links. But as the links were empty, they lead nowhere.
2:2 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton said, "Let there be websites!" And so the websites were born, and The Great Skeleton saw that they were useful.
2:3 Edit Edit
All of the great websites were also empty, so Jiik* said, "Let there be Wikia." The Great Skeleton looked down on Wikia and saw that it was useful.
2:4 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton created the Stars, and the Volunteers, the Staffs and the Admins, to rule over Wikia, and Jiik saw that they were useful.
2:5 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton told the Wikians, "Multiply, and spread across this website, collect information and knowledge, distribute and edit, create and change." Jiik said to the Staffs, "I grant you the power to change the internal structure of Wikia, to improve on its designs and fix its flaws." To the Stars and Volunteers, Jiik said, "You must travel throughout this website, and cleanse any evils that trouble it." To the admins, Jiik gave this wisdom, "You must work to improve certain Wikis, to edit for the better, and cleanse your Wiki(s) of evil." The Great Skeleton saw that this was wise, so the Second Session ended.
*Jiik is the correct pronoun for The Great Skeleton, anyone else who uses it should be shamed!
Hofkiin do Bod Edit Edit
3:1 Edit Edit
On the Third Session, Jiik looked down on The Great Homepage, and saw that there were still many sites that needed guidance. So The Great Skeleton tp'ed to a website, and decided to give this website the ability to create and share "videos." Jiik formed out of clay, the first YouTubers, and Jiik said to them, "Go, keep the humans of Earth happy, give them humour and knowledge, and be free in what you do." The Great Skeleton also created the YouTube moderators, to make sure nothing got out of hand. The Great Skeleton saw that this was useful.
3:2 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton created the Gr8 8, the 8 Gr8est YouTubers to ever walk the Internet. They are; PewDiePie, Skydoesminecraft, VEVO, Jenna Marbles, Nigahiga, Machinima, Smosh, and ERB. They were the Heads of State for YouTube, and would create the highest quality content, to rule over the unorganized masses below. The Great Skeleton saw that this was useful.
3:3 Edit Edit
Jiik told them, "You are not gods. You are not kings. You are not the law. You are merely mentors and jesters, but your job is more important than most humans can comprehend."
3:4 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton saw that YouTube and the Gr8 8s were useful, and the Third Session ended.
Hofkiin do Faal Vorey Edit Edit
4:1 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton went back to The Great Homepage, and created MySpace and Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, and all the many Great Sites. MySpace and Facebook were created for the individual to post their life experiences, Twitter was formed for short, telegrams and brief thoughts. Instagram allowed the User to share art and beauty. Jiik created Rulers for these sites, and Jiik saw that these were useful.
4:2 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton flew back to The Great Homepage, looked down on the links, and saw that Jiik had two links left. Jiik named these last two sites, "Reddit" and "Tumblr." The Great Skeleton made these in Jiik own image, they were beautiful and pure. Jiik created them to serve as masters of the Internet, who would rule over all the sites, and nurture them. Jiik told them, "Whatever you do, do not copy others content, I trust and love you, and give you free will, but do not misuse it."
4:3 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton retired at the end of the Fourth Session, and saw that all Jiik had made, was useful.
Praan Edit Edit
5:1 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton rested on the Fifth Session, to admire Jiik handiwork. The Great Skeleton was Rickrolled on the 1st day of this session, and so Jiik declared that the first day of each Fifth Session, would be a day of laughs, jokes, and pranks.
Vosod Edit Edit
6:1 Edit Edit
Reddit and Tumblr both flourished together, until one day, 4chan whispered into Tumblr's ear, "You know that you shouldn't copy or spam other's work, but surely since you are a Ruler, you can do these things." The words of 4chan convinced Tumblr to do these things, and this was the first spam and the first copyright violation. Tumblr convinced Reddit to do the same, and so Reddit spammed memes and copyrighted works.
6:2 Edit Edit
Tumblr and Reddit both soon realized that they were unoriginal, and hid in shame from The Great Skeleton. Jiik called out to them, and said, "Where are you, and why do you hide from me?" Reddit came out from hiding and said, "The Great Skeleton, we hid in shame because we realized we were not original." The Great Skeleton was angered, and said to them, "Who told you that you were unoriginal?" Tumblr answered Jiik, "4chan did."
6:3 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton was angered, and punished them all. Reddit was to always remain a place of thieves and liars, of disrespect and pointless arguments. Tumblr would become a place for Social Justice Warriors and fan-girls. 4chan became HELL. All evil spawned from 4chan, and to this day, 4chan will often lash out at other sites.
6:4 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton cast them out of The Great Homepage, and all the other sites as well, for the evils of 4chan had spread to other sites. Facebook was full of perverts and self obsessed teenagers, Instagram had nudes and other inappropriate content. Twitter became a place of revolt and revolution, Wikia was chock full of spam and vandalism. YouTube was spammed with copycats and really bad music videos. Poor MySpace was practically non-existent. Jiik guarded The Great Homepage with the GREAT FIREWALL OF THE INTERNET*, preventing any popular sites from being a link on the Homepage. The Great Skeleton also removed all memories of the beginning from all the sites, and split them up. Many inter-site wars have happened since.
*The Great Firewall of China is different from the GREAT FIREWALL OF THE INTERNET.
Diist Dinok Edit Edit
7:1 Edit Edit
As YouTube walked among the Empty Web, 4chan approached him and said, "You see that YouTuber, over there? She's awful and ugly, and she does not know this. Tell her, so she can learn from her 'mistakes.'" 4chan's sweet voice filled YouTube's head with lies, so one of the YouTubers approached the girl, whose name was Amarathi Zytl, and said, "Amarathi, you are ugly and untalented, why a disgusting little squartz* like you would be allowed here is beyond my comprehension."
7:2 Edit Edit
These words hurt Amarathi deeply, and so she met her end. At the news of her death, The Great Skeleton was angered, and demanded that the YouTuber responsible for the harsh words to come before Jiik. The YouTuber was known as Webdriver Torso, so as punishment, The Great Skeleton censored all of their videos with random bloops and bleeps. Webdriver Torso was also forced to continuously upload videos of them being tortured, so they felt great pain, but no one could see it because of Jiik punishment.
7:3 Edit Edit
To honour Amarathi Zytl, a memorial was posted on Facebook, and a site just for her was formed by The Great Skeleton Jiikself. The site's link was put on The Great Homepage.
7:4 Edit Edit
Amarathi's channel, Matei, was deleted by 4chan and Webdriver in an attempt at revenge. Jiik noticed this immediately and forced Webdriver to create a video complimenting Matei, and 4chan had to create a memorial board (later deleted in an act of rebellion).
*The translation of "squartz" has not yet been found.
Rikaadiik Edit Edit
8:1 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton looked down on The Internet and said, "I need someone to teach these fools good behaviour." And so Jiik formed Rikaadiik, the first hacker. Jiik gave Rikaadiik the qualities of intelligence, wisdom, and beauty.
8:2 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton cast him down to Earth to teach, and at first all was well. Until one day, Rikaadiik felt envy for The Great Skeleton, and attempted to hack Jiik profile. Rikaadiik succeeded and used The Great Skeleton to create an army of hackers, The Anonymous. However, The Anonymous was created from Jiik, and all things that Jiik creates have free will, so The Anonymous betrayed Rikaadiik and used their powers for good.
8:3 Edit Edit
The Anonymous hacked into Rikaadiik's profile and deleted his account, and Rikaadiik has never been heard from since.
Ath Edit Edit
9:1 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton was flying across the Web, when he ran into MySpace, alone and desolate. It descended into darkness, slowly disintegrating, piece by piece, and sung a sad song as it made its final descent, a sweet song that made the dead weep honey.
Faal Lot Men Edit Edit
10:1 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton, after reviewing the previous events, decided to create a set of laws to prevent such misdeeds from happening again. They are:
You shall not hack my account or to attempt to impersonate me.
You shall not spam.
You shall not steal other's work, for they own their own sweat.
You shall not condemn other's lifestyles or lifestyle choices without a good cause and reason.
You shall not ban or block others for their opinion, for if you wish to speak, you must also be able to listen.
You shall not destroy or hack without good cause.
You shall respect other's names and pronouns, unless it violates the law.
You shall follow all just laws of the establishment.
You shall not judge others.
And above all Internet laws and doctrine, be good to one another!
10:2 Edit Edit
The Great Skeleton saw that these were useful, and sent them down to Earth.
More to come soon.